SO, in September 2016, we joined millions of Americans in the privilege of home ownership. Before starting this journey, I decided to try for a 2nd Master’s Degree in Higher Education (the first degree was in middle school science education–more on that later). When my son was first born, all I wanted to do was go back to work.. “be productive”.. not another stay at home mom. I was working over 40 hours a week, and so was my husband. My mother stayed with us during the week to watch over our son. Oh my goodness. This arrangement drove me crazy.
Then, towards the end of my second semester, I discovered my long lost passion for Self-Help books! Boy, did they help me:
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (Lindsay Gibson, 2015)
- So my mother was staying with us during the week (M-Fri) to help take care of our boy while my husband worked and I was in school (school involved 40+ hrs.wk of classes, homework, and graduate assisting). Boy, was this experience intensely stressful! Reading this book really opened my eyes to my relationship with my mother. It made me extremely angry. Trying to talk to my mother only made it worse. She is a very emotionally detached parent and individual (along with my dad). A lot of my issues with her raising my son were linked to my awareness of how she must have been raising ME. I didn’t want to repeat this emotional detachment with my own son. I definitely have a tendency to dissociate (candy crush, workaholism, etc.), and I didn’t want to feed this tendency. My anger has subsided since then, but it was necessary and healing.
- The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
- My life has changed after completing this book. OH MY GOODNESS. It all started with deciding what to keep. What brings me joy? Taking care of my belongings totally gave me the ability to clear my head and ask important questions. More to come– I need to dedicate an entire category to Kondo.
- Talking to Crazy
- LEAN IN to crazy. I’m still working on this one. I have to remind myself not to repeat myself over and over to a “crazy” person (i.e. my mother), because really.. it just means that I’M the crazy one to keep trying to get through to her. I have literally stopped myself from getting angry after realizing that I was the crazy one to expect anything different.
Anyways, there are a plethora more to add to the list, all of which were obtained for free as audiobooks from my public library. I ❤ Audiobooks!
I QUIT the program to be at home with my son. You know, spend time with him. Love him. Give him attention.
I’ve really been consciously tried to be more mindful and self-reflect. Apparently, I’m not alone and these ideas are running through an entire population of people who have written many engaging and helpful audiobooks.